The paragon epilogue entails Miranda, having stress eaten herself large, trying to track down who made that hedonism simulation. But Shepard is too busy being a lech to listen, and Kelly is jealously trying to get noticed by Shepard. Why is Tali fat though? Really, I don't know.
(blocks shoots with sword)
Then you can understand why I can't give her up! (pulls out katana) We shall duel for tali! winner gets-
Shepard: (ahem) I believe Tali's MY girl...
Me: um, yes, of course sir! (backs away)
I guess she's been having a big dextro-protein intake